Today, I feel very alone. Not lonely. But alone – that feeling that you are all on your own with no one to share the load with, no partner to support you, encourage you, simply ask if you’re ok or need anything. There are days like today, when something happens that puts this feeling of being alone in the forefront of my mind. Today, my youngest was diagnosed with the flu and needs to be kept at home where he can rest, recuperate and not spread his germs to anyone else – but my oldest has an orthodontist appointment tomorrow (which I rescheduled), basketball practice tonight which he missed because I can’t stay home and take care of little brother and go to practice too, etc, etc. Yet, in these moments where I am reminded how I feel so alone in life when it comes to not having a partner to lean on and share the load with, I am quietly and awesomely reminded that I am not alone. God is always with me, always. Today, he was with me in the friends that reached out to ask if they could bring me groceries or anything else we needed, and in the prayers being said for my little guy to have a speedy recovery.
It is really easy, and happens more often than I care to admit, that I let worry and fear overtake me and make me start to stress over what the future holds. Daily, I wonder if I will be able to do this on my own? Will I be able to find a job that will afford me the ability to care for myself and my children after giving up my career to be a stay at home mom for the last several years. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I need to pray more and surrender it all, including my life, to Him that holds the future. I need to remind myself that God has this and He has me – the ultimate battle has already been won so I should really stop stressing over my worries and enjoy all the blessings that I have. When I feel alone, I must remember that God is always with me, always.